


Harvest Moon

by Aviss



Category: Inception (2010)
Genre: Humour, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-19
Updated: 2017-07-19
Packaged: 2018-12-04 06:21:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,475
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11549292
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aviss/pseuds/Aviss
Summary: Eames gives Arthur a present. Arthur wants to strangle Eames.





	Harvest Moon

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [Harvest Moon](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1147693) by [Aleia (Aviss)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aviss/pseuds/Aleia). 



> This is a translation of a story I wrote in Spanish a few years back, I've had this in my HD for ages, half translated until I remembered it was still there and decided to finish it. It's just a silly little ficlet, not much on the way of plot but a bit of fun. I know literally nothing about Art galleries or the process to authenticate a painting.

The news arrive through one of his syndicated feeds, nothing but a small announcement on the third page of a British newspaper. 

_**Palmer's Harvest Moon is a forgery** _

**__** _The forgery was discovered during the restoration works in Tullie House Galley, where a burst water pipe caused damaged on some of the paintings displayed there the last February._

_Palmer's Harvest Moon was one of the affected paintings. The Gallery's curator has revealed today that during the restoration process by Miller & Jones it has been discovered that the painting is a forgery, though it has been on display for years after being subjected to a strict verification process. _

_"It is such a good quality counterfeit that even the experts in Miller & Jones were divided about the conclusion," the curator has admitted during the investigation to determine whether it is a case of theft or insurance fraud. _

_The question is whether the painting was already a forgery when it was verified, or if it has been switched recently, though there are no indications that the gallery has suffered a robbery._

Arthur reads the announcement with a slight interest first, which turns into alarm and disbelief as he keeps on reading. By the second read he's beginning to feel suspicion, by the third he's swearing and planning all the ways in which he's going to murder Eames. 

_It can't be_ , he thinks as he walks into his room and looks at the Palmer's Harvest Moon he has displayed there. It must be a coincidence. _Eames wouldn't dare._

Thing is, Eames would dare. As a matter of fact, he has dared more than once, and that is one of the reasons Arthur requested of him what he did: if there is one person capable of making a forgery of a painting good enough for Arthur to want it in his bedroom, and for Miller & Jones' experts to have doubts about calling it a counterfeit, that's Eames. And once he's made the copy, why not swap it for the original? The hard part is already done, after all, breaking into the museum is a walk in the park, something to do on a Friday night. Arthur can practically follow the path of Eames' reasoning, from the moment Arthur asked him to paint three copies of his favorite paintings to the announcement in the morning news. 

"Eames," he says as a way of greeting as soon as he picks up the phone. It's around 4AM in Moscow, and Arthur is convinced Eames was fast asleep. He doesn't care. Truth be told, he's quite angry with Eames, and even angrier with himself. "How many of the paintings are forgeries?"

"Arthur?" Eames sounds scrambled, as if he has just been snatched from the deepest of sleeps. Arthur feels no pity. "What…?"

"How many?"

It takes Eames a second to wake up enough brain cells to understand the question and answer, his voice rough with sleep, but still arrogant enough for Arthur to seriously consider murder. "None of them, darling. Only the best for you."

Arthur doesn't bother to move the phone away before he begins to spew the kind of invective that would make a drunken sailor blush. 

"Arthur?" Eames doesn't sound smug now, he sounds fully awake and very concerned. 

"I'm in New York. Come immediately." He hangs up without giving Eames the chance to reply, and starts the preparations to get the other two paintings shipped to his house in the next 24 hours. 

More than enough time for Eames to arrive. 

...

"Arthur, when you asked me to get you ' _three perfect reproductions, the kind I know you can make when you want_ ' you forgot to mention you wanted to destroy them."

If he were completely honest, Eames would have to admit that when he hoped the painting would lead him to Arthur's bedroom this wasn't what he had in mind. The modifications are minimal all things considered, but there is no way to hide that someone has painted over the moon in Palmer's painting. He shudders to think what Arthur might have done to the other two paintings, Eames's inner artist wants to curl on the floor and cry for the desecrated masterpiece. 

"I assumed them to be _fake_."

"I also assumed you wanted them just to contemplate." Arthur says something in reply, voice little more than a mumble Eames's doesn't quite catch. "What was that?"

"I was going to use them a _totems_ ," he repeats, biting each word as if they had offended him. "Anyone wanting to extract from me in a dream would more than likely reproduce one of my known addresses, same as Dom and I did with Saito."

"Arthur, the level of your paranoia is sincerely concerning. Anyway, the moment anyone comes into your house they will see the modified paintings."

" _Nobody_ comes into my house, and you will only spot the modifications if you know they're there." Eames stares at him mutely for an instant. He has been in all of Arthur's houses in different occasions, though it's the first time he gets as far as the bedroom, and he's never seen any security measures to warrant that kind of certainty. As if he could read his mind, Arthur rolls his eyes at him. "Eames, you are _invited_ to come to my house, just don't come when I'm not around. Not that I think anything I have would stop you if you really want in, not if the Tate and the MOMA have been unable to keep you away from their paintings."

It likely is not his intention, but Eames puffs with pride at those words. Tullie House wasn't much of a challenge compared with the Tate and the MOMA, those were the really interesting ones. As much as he doesn't want to know the answer, that brings another question. 

"The Turner and the Bacon?" His tone makes clear he already knows the answer. "Bacon is your favourite, you wouldn't have also wrecked that one?"

"I have never wanted to strangle you more in my life, Mr Eames." Is the annoyed answer, and Eames cringes inwardly. "Can you fix them or not?"

"I can, though it will take me some time to gather all the materials and restore the paintings to as close to the original as possible."

"The guest room is ready, the other two paintings will arrive in the next 24 hours."

Eames looks at the painting and then at Arthur, a huge sigh falling from his lips. "I need to cancel a job and ask for my things to be sent here."

"Already done," Arthur says with his usual efficiency. "They will be here tomorrow."

"This is the last time I give you a present."

…

"What the hell are you doing?

Out of everything Arthur would expect to find when he returns home after shopping, Eames singing while he paints in the middle of the living room, dressed only in some faded jeans and with his bare chest speckled with paint drops is not one of them. Not that he's complaining. A bare chested Eames wearing jeans tight in all the right places is something that one would need to be blind, dead, or completely straight not to appreciate. Arthur knows of a couple of straight men who have reconsidered their sexuality after meeting Eames, he's aware enough of his own to want to climb that like a tree.

"Fixing the Bacon. The lighting's much better here that in the guest bedroom."

That's undeniable; one of the main reasons Arthur bought that apartment is the ample balcony, and the bay windows offering a magnificent view of Manhattan and creating a lovely lighting in the living room.

"If I had wanted a half naked guy painting in my living room, I would have called Caffrey," he says. It's something better to do with his mouth than offer to lick the paint off of Eames's chest, which is also not very hygienic. 

Eames turns to look at him with an arched eyebrow, and Arthur can feel how he's judging him. "If Neal sees what you've done to the paintings, he'll push you out of the window."

True, Neal Caffrey is very serious about art. "He would have never given me the originals without warning."

"He would have never given you the originals. Period. After all, he's not wooing you." Eames turns back to the painting, and Arthur takes the chance to look at him again, see how the muscles in his back and shoulders mover with each stroke, the precision of each movement and the gentleness of his fingers in contrast with the strength of his body. He's so distracted by the view it takes him a few seconds to understand what Eames has said. 

"Wooing me?" Arthur has never taken Eames's flirting seriously; he's British, the pet names and sarcastic flirting are practically the national sport, it doesn't mean a thing. Or so Arthur has always believed. 

"Of course, darling, what did you think I was doing if not wooing you?"

"Uh…"

Eames turns to him again with an eye roll, shaking his head in fond exasperation. "Next time, I'll stick to flowers and chocolate, shall I? That way we don't have to risk you wrecking another masterpiece."

…

"When do you think they will be finished?" Arthur asks during dinner one night. It's been a month since Eames began the restoration of the paintings, to be honest he could have finished a couple of weeks ago, though he has not told Arthur yet. The moment he does he will have no more excuses to stay at Arthur's home, and he's gotten used to dinners together and the conversations while he paints. This is the first time he's seen Arthur so relaxed, even though they've known each other for years and can be considered friends.

"A couple more days," he says while he refills their wine glasses. Arthur's a bit of a snob for some things, one of the reasons Eames's always teasing him, and that means they always enjoy an excellent vintage with dinner. Unfortunately the same can not be said about the food, at least not the one Arthur cooks. They're lucky Eames's handier in the kitchen, or they would eat nothing but take away. "There are a few details I need to improve in the Bacon."

Arthur looks at him like he can tell Eames's lying, but says nothing. "How are we going to return them to the museum once they are completed to your satisfaction?"

"Return them?" Eames had no intention whatsoever to give the paintings back. Fixing Arthur's mess is one thing, but he believed Arthur would want to keep them considering they are his favourite paintings and they were a present. To return them now feels like rejection.

As if he could read his mind Arthur rolls his eyes. "I appreciate it, Eames, I really do. But I still want my fake paintings to make the totems, that has not changed, and the fake ones are hanging in the museums."

"Your dedication to paranoia is worrying, Arthur," Eames says unable to hold back a fond smile. He isn't surprised in the slightest knowing Arthur is stubbornly clinging to the same idea. "I already know what you intend to do, not the most secure of totems don't you think?"

"But I have nothing to fear from you, do I?" Arthur replies with a smile of his own, and if Eames's not mistaken they have been flirting for the last few days. "You don't want to steal my secrets."

"No," Eames agrees,"just your virtue." Sometimes things just need to be spelled out.

He's not expecting Arthur's laugh at that. "Oh Eames, you don't need to steal that." He takes a long sip of his wine, head tilted back exposing his delicate throat. Eames's certain now he's doing it on purpose, but he still unable to look away while Arthur swallows. When he finally lifts his eyes, Arthur's staring at him with an amused glint in his.

"I don't?"

Arthur stands up and begins clearing the table, moving away the dirty dishes but leaving the half full wine glasses. "No, once you've finished with the work I'll prove it to you."

Eames downs his glass in one big gulp and stands from the table to head to the studio to finish the painting. 

He can hear Arthur's laugh while he paints.

…

"Arthur, darling, you really know how to plan a date."

"I knew you'd like it. Now, quit trying to make out and focus, we only have five minutes for the switch before the alarm is triggered."

"Plenty of time for what I want to do--"

"Which I hope is just switching the paintings. What _I_ want to do takes longer than five minutes and it's a lot better on a bed."

"You have no sense of romance, Arthur."

"And you have no--mmmfff."

"See, plenty of time for the switch. We'll continue at home."

...

_**Recovered three paintings which had not been stolen** _

**__** _Samuel Palmer's Harvest Moon has been found this morning at the gallery Tullie House. This time, there is no doubt that the painting is the original, and it has already been certified by Miller & Jones's experts, where the replica of this same painting, which had been on display for an indeterminate amount of time, is still located. _

_"We can't understand it," Jordan Miller has admitted. "This is really the original painting, but the replica is still in our offices. It has passed all the tests, and we have no doubt that this Palmer is the real one._

_The Gallery's curator admits to be as confused as Mr Miller._

_"It was just there this morning when we opened, on the floor right under the empty space where the previous one was on display. There were no alarms, and our security cameras has not recorded any intruder. It feels like someone played a prank with a very valuable painting._

_The prank theory looks more plausible when you take into account the fact that during the past week both the Tate Gallery and the MOMA have reported similar events, where two paintings, a Joseph Turner and Francis Bacon respectively, were moved from their usual display site to the floor, where the museum employees found them. No alarms were triggered and no signs of activity beyond the usual._

_"We have watched the recording and done all the checks, but the painting is the original, not a forgery. One of the guards says he heard voices and laughs of at least two people, but he saw nobody during his rounds and the recordings don't show anyone accessing the museum after hours. We don't know what's happened."_

_Whatever it is that happened in these museums, the paintings have been certified as the originals again, and security measures will be upgraded in the following weeks._

...


End file.
